Alright, ‘fellas, gather around. We’ve created an ultimate device to understand exactly what women think. The Woman Mind Reader Hat 3000 has given us the ability to step inside the brain of a female. The only benefit to this technology: the discovery of what they think about our really, really rad wheels.
The data is in. After showing them a series of photos with you doing a silly, totally funny pose next to your car, we were able to extrapolate information on what they really thought. The following data is our findings of what women really think of your wheels, brah.
Big Truck – you’re overcompensating
Big trucks mean you’re overcompensating. Sure, you might have looked up OTR drivers and requirements and how to be a truck driver, and you have a lot of stuff to transport in the bed of the truck, but that doesn’t mean you need those obnoxiously large 7-foot wheels. If you must climb up a ladder to get into your car, it’s too big.
Fast, luxury car – you’re overcompensating
Too fast, too much overcompensation. You own a luxury convertible that will go 0 to 60 in 2 seconds. That’s great, but do you have a healthy relationship with your family? Again, these are just the test results speaking.
Eco-friendly hybrid – you’re responsible, but still overcompensating
An eco-friendly hybrid saves the environment, and your wallet, with an efficient fuel-economy and the ability to run on an electrical charge. You’re a very responsible, nice guy who, however, is still overcompensating. Not even the added bonus of knowing you took a NY defensive driving course could change her mind.
Off Roading Vehicle – you’re adventurously overcompensating
Everyone loves off-roading vehicles. Except for the women who saw the photos of you with your Jeep 4×4. You may be adventurous and thrill seeking, but that doesn’t sway every women’s opinion of you.
Motorcycle – You live dangerous! (And you’re overcompensating)
We tried to change it up a bit by putting a motorcycle in the test. The feedback told us that women think you live dangerously, if you drive a motorcycle. They also had a last-minute thought of you overcompensating, because you ride one.
SUV – You’re a person who cares about their family and overcompensating
SUV owners tend to be family friendly ‘fellas. They care about their family having spacious room and high-end security while on the roads. However, nobody is that family focused. For what are you overcompensating?
Hatchback – Ooh la
Not surprising. The results from the Woman Mind Reader Hat 3000 shows that women unanimously agree that hatchbacks illicit an “ooh la la” thought. This supports our notion that hatchback vehicles are the perfect car for every occasion. Nobody dislikes a hatchback.
Airboat – Crocodile dundon’t overcompensate like that.
The airboat was a mistake. Strapping a gigantic fan propeller to the back of your boat, so you can go fast and impress people, means you’re overcompensating. If that’s what overcompensating is, then we don’t want to undercompensate.
Smart Car – Your brain is overcompensating
Your car is a reflection of your brain. When your car is smart, your brain is smart. Therefore, when you drive a smart car, your brain is overcompensating for something. You thought you were smart about saving fuel, but really, you’re hiding something deep and dark.
Autonomous car – Your robot is overcompensating
Nobody is safe from these treacherous thoughts. Not even your robot chauffeur, who drive your autonomous car. Even the robot is overcompensating. He doesn’t even have the free will to make the decision himself; he’s just a series of programs!